Forfeit blog entry

posted by bin1 on Wed 19th Dec, 07 at 18:34:34

A long, long time ago Bunnery worked at a small library in a barely bigger market town.

The town's politicians, and well-do-gooders, were under the impression that it was the perfect representation of a traditional market town. Everyone else thought it was a mecca for charity shops and would-be pound shops. The small town did have a cobbled market square; with cement patching large holes and parking lines painted hap-hazardly around its edge. The town even had a large phallic monolith to commemorate fallen war heroes, but perhaps the monolith became the source for the town's depressed image. A popular pastime for local residents under 15 year is to congregate there, drink cheap cider or alcopops while practicing their swearing and spitting; the well practiced can do both at the same time. The town's older population can be split into a small finite number of groups. The majority try and avoid the spitting youth, the next majority are graduates from the spitting practice and continue to evolve their studies to include unnecessary, drink fuelled violence and a mindless worship of all debase practices; including [deleted for the sake of the easily offended].

Worse still for Bunnery, the library she worked in was part of a shabby college with dreams of grandure far beyond its size, dynamism and management. It also provided most of the town's spitting youth.

Bunnery is a positive, optimistic person. She's always ready to smile, joke and see the positives in people. The more observant ones could tell that this wasn't how she really felt. The library was too small, too inadequate to match her talents. Of course she re-indexed the library's entire catalogue, ordered new resources, even installed a sand drawer as a stress remover. If it wasn't for Bread, I doubt she'd have stayed as long as she did.

At the time, Bread was a full-time IT Technician, later to become a part-time Network Manager come entrepreneur. But more about him later... Maybe.

Eventually the Bunnery could bare it no longer, and saw working anywhere else as more challenging, more rewarding perhaps less emotionally demanding than the college students.

So where do I come into this? I barely saw Bunnery from week to week. I'm one of those quiet people, the kind that people are immediately suspicious about. Not that they should be; I'm one of the nicest people you'll meet - my favourite saying. But I had troubles of my own, I didn't have time to waste and only talked to those I worked with - with the one exception of Bunnery. I too felt the weight of the town's crumbling societal state, it bites deep, sapping your energy and you become stayed, de-motivated and even a little lost. But this is what I needed at the time, a slow life so I could deal with my own life.

Bunnery was the antidote to the depression that anyone could so easily slip into.

I teach IT (lecturer used to be in my job title), boring stuff like databases, which are my favourite. I'm not qualified to teach; I've no intention to become qualified - but I'm working through a loop hole where my qualifications allow me to stand in front of a group of people and tell them what “what” is. What my qualifications lack is knowing how best to teach - but don't worry, I've got people through who can barely mist up a mirror (not my phrase but a colleague's).

The reason I started at the college, newly qualified was that I wanted a broad range of experience fast. 1 year, if that I thought. I even had to convince the college principle that I was serious about the job; obviously I lied and claimed I wanted to make teaching a career. I met Bread on the day of the interview and he showed me around the vast college complex (three small buildings). He made an impression on me; relaxed and slightly sarcastic about what he showed me.

That was 5 years ago. Since then I've half played being a career person, as in I've thought about it. I now have a beautiful daughter of 5, a separation, inherited debt from the estranged wife, a divorce (more money!) and I'm now living in sin with my partner of two and a bit years.

But am I happy? I feel immense pride and love because of my daughter. My partner is 90% of the time fantastic, the other 10% keeps me on my toes - the perfect mix almost, 85-15 might be better. Work is the same as always, like stabbing a blunt fish knife in my ear.

Didn't know what to write really... is the foreit over, Bunnery?