posted by Bunnery on Mon 23rd Apr, 07 at 21:11:42
Well, things are going swimmingly in the world of prisons. The sun has been shining and the birds have been singing and the ladies residing at Her Majesty's Pleasure have been on gardening duties, so the smell of newly mown grass has been coming through the bars on the (slightly) open windows of the library. Bliss. All has been peaceful - which is quite a contrast to the Naughty Boys place where it is never peaceful!
I have been enjoying answering intelligent queries about Open University courses from the ladies - and deep philosophical ones from the boys, such as "What turns you on about a man, Miss?" The trainees in question had been studying FLEX magazine -which consists of the most gross, bulging vein-riddled, unfeasibly large muscles you are ever likely to have the misfortune to see. I told them it was "A sense of humour" which the Officer in charge seemed to think was quite a diplomatic answer!
The peace of the Spring day was broken at the women's prison the other afternoon with an alarm ringing throughout the grounds. Turned out it was a fire alarm and in due course a fire engine arrived, filled with men in uniforms with hoses. You have never seen a library empty so fast in all your life!! The women were ogling, cat-calling and hyper-ventilating all over the place. I think it was the single most exciting thing that had happened to them since they saw the Governor working out in the gym. There are rumours that the alarm was set off deliberately - just for the thrill of it :-)
Actually he claims to do that everyday. According to his interview in the new prison magazine. The women have written it and published it themselves - and it is pretty interesting reading. Even recipes - for things which are available in the prsion shop - mainly involving Pot Noodles and melted Mars bars.
One little perk of the job - I get to read all the celeb gossip magazines in my tea-break - without ever having the shame of actually going into WHSmith and buying them!! Guess which celebs have huge tummies hanging over their bikinis this week? Yeah - you are right - all of them! Libraries can be SO educational [long word]
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