Still inside!!

posted by Bunnery on Wed 6th Feb, 08 at 18:38:00

I need to do more blogging - I really miss it.

Things in the Prisons are still okay. Although we do seem to be getting rather more unpleasant and difficult customers in The Library there. They are getting more wily too - it can be a real battle of wits. I don't even like them to get away with pinching the TV page of The Sun - and it really spoils my day if one manages to nick a magazine on my watch. I have to have eyes in the back of my head....

Seems that they love to take pictures out of Dirt Bike. Well they do ask for the kind of naughty mags that you find on the top shelf at WHSmiths - but they are not allowed those - so they have to make do with the sleek curves and pneumatic tyres of an offroader to drool over ;-)and put them down their socks! I make them take them out again and then make a show of carefully stapling them back into the magazine.(I wear rubber gloves and a mask - hehe!) Don't always catch them though - and by the end of the month, Dirt Bike consists of just the front and back cover!!

Their favourite occupation, whilst enjoying the delights of the library though, is to wind each other up. This can be quite amusing to eavesdrop on. Hey - I'm not being nosey - we have to keep our ears open for any possible security issues. Last week they were making fun of one of the bigger, more ferocious inmates (oops - sorry - "trainees") because he'd let it slip that he was actually inside for robbing a Spar of £3. The funniest part was that he'd previously been inside the shop to buy a can of coke and something to eat - not noticing the CCTV cameras. He'd gone outside, sat on the wall to enjoy his lunch, then donned a mask and gone in again to threaten and rob the owner. The fact was that the banking had just been done - and the only money in the till was the money he'd just handed over for his lunch!! I think he's lost his street cred now. He did actually look embarrassed - a first for him!!

I've been on a training course today - Managing Conflict, which I think could come in useful.It was full of psychology - which fascinated me. Apparently it can take longer to recover from witnessing a violent incident between other people than from being attacked oneself. This is particularly relevant when you work with young offenders.It seems that this stems from not being able to control the situation. You can rationalise things that happen to yourself. Anyway - things are much better in my other job. Although we do get our fair share of weirdoes in there too - and there's no alarm button on the wall that will summon three burly officers within seconds.I'll tell you about some of them next time...

Keep smiling :-)

Sound the alarm!

posted by Bunnery on Fri 10th Aug, 07 at 18:39:23

Hello everybody

Have been working at the new job for oh almost four weeks now. It is going fine - most of the time. I have to say it is one of those places where there is never a dull moment!  

I have a resident alcoholic who sits on the steps outside - but he hasn't been too much trouble so far. I have to say I am on first name terms with most of the police around there though - on account of the kids who are bored out of their minds during the school holidays and think that causing disruption in the local neighbourhood library is a spiffing wheeze.

I know where they live now though - and most of the time just picking up the phone and doing a little play-acting when describing their exploits to the imaginary police operative on the other end usually does the trick. I have managed to get a couple of the worst (boys!) excluded for a week - and this is possibly going to be extended to a month after the "throwing coke bottles at old ladies" episode yesterday.

But hey! - it takes my mind off the ant invasion at the bottom of The Library. And the maggots too.

Also I still do Wednesdays at the YOI with the Naughty Boys - so it helps to put it in perspective. Maybe I should tell these kids what it is like in there - so they'll feel at home when they arrive!! 

Aaaaanyway - like I said it is going fine :-)

Actually my biggest fear was accidently setting off the alarm. Once you unlock the main door in the morning you have 30 seconds to get through another door, across the library, into the back room to put the secret code into the panel that flashes incessantly in there.

They say that facing your fear is the only way to conquer it - so a couple of Fridays ago when it was chucking it down with rain, I entered the library, rushed at the inner door - which is never kept locked - and guess what? It was locked. Apart from almost breaking my fingers - I realised that I had better find the right key within 30 seconds - or the whole of the Midlands would be able to hear my alarm! I fumbled manically with the three keys I'd been given - but not one would open this door. I rushed outside - to be deafened by the alarm and the flashing - attracting attention from everyone in the nearby shopping centre. I was mortified - and didn't know what to do. Rang head office - and they said they would dispatch someone with keys - and arrange for the alarm man to come and stop the noise. 

By now my colleague arrived - tried her keys - but they wouldn't open it either! Luckily the alarm had stopped - so we had to stay outside in the torrential rain - as going into the foyer would set it all off again. Help from Head Honcho arrived - but his keys wouldn't unlock the dratted door either!

By now the alarm man had arrived to reset everything - but because no-one could get into the building - there was nothing he could do. Meantime - we had set the alarm off again - as we tried more keys.

The cleaner was located eventually - but she declared that it was "impossible to lock that door" as it had never been locked in the last 3 years! Okaaay - maybe we just enjoyed standing in the rain - trying to explain to customers that we couldn't get into out own library.

Eventually - at 3.30pm we tracked down a delivery driver from Stafford - who had delivered books before we opened - and taken it on himself to lock to inner door for extra security. He didn't actually realise that he was the ONLY person in the whole county who had a key to this door!

He seemed to find the whole episode amusing - much to the disgust of several bedraggled, soaked, cold and miserable  staff.

I confiscated his key - and it is now on my keyring!!

One good thing - hours later when the alarm man came back - I got him to change the timings so I could have a whole minute to get to the panel next time....

Not that it would have helped in this case - but at least I know what the alarms sounds like now :-)

Eyes in the Back of Your Head Required...

posted by Bunnery on Thu 28th Jun, 07 at 13:39:24

Just two weeks left in prison. Hey - that makes me feel like Paris Hilton!! When I come out I want to open a home for Naughty Boys and do good :-)

Actually yesterday was a full day (usually we only do half a day at a time - all anyone can stand) and I can tell you that the lads seem to see it as a challenge to pinch anything that isn't screwed down! It is like a battle of wits! It is not like they actually want or need the stuff they nick - I mean, what are they going to do with the barcode scanner in their "pad"? They just think if it is there - they are honour-bound to try to filch it!

Yesterday I did manage to retrieve the new VIBE magazine (it's about music - in case you were wondering!) which I'd only had for 2 days! The officers had to "pat down" the lads before it was found, up a jumper. I stopped the attempted robbery of my date stamp just in time. Then I demanded the return of the TV pages from the newspaper - which thankfully one lad sheepishly produced from down his pants!! I wasn't entirely sure that I wanted it back after that, to tell you the truth! However, page 3 of The Sun was never found. Dread to think where the perpetrator had hidden that one!!

I am learning other stuff too - like the meaning of tattoos. Seems if someone has dots tattooed on their knuckles it means that they have been in Borstal (this from a boy who had been there since age 11!) and if you ever see anyone with tears tattooed on their face - the number of tears equates to the number of times they have been in prison. or in some cases the number of people they have killed. I wouldn't approach them either way, if I was you.

Ever wondered what the currency is in prison? I guess in adult prisons it is still tobacco but in a non-smoking establishment like the YOIs it is - shower gels! You hear many an X-Box game or music CD being offered for 4 Lynx Shower gels or two Radox! 

I have a start date for my new job of 9th July. I wonder if life is going to seem a little tame after all this...... :-) 

Another Day - Another Job

posted by Bunnery on Mon 11th Jun, 07 at 22:09:16

Well - looks like I've gone and got myself another job.

Shame really - because I was loving the prison libraries - they were great - and a bit of a challenge! However, I was not getting enough hours so I have got a permanent job this time.

I will have my own library again - in a little place not far from the city.

I haven't worked in a Public Library for a long time - so it is going to be a nice change. I'll be able to recommend books and chat about authors. I think I'm going to enjoy it.

Seems the idea these days is to make libraries more like bookshops. You know, have the open plan layout, display books on table tops so you can see the covers, have comfy sofas grouped around, encourage people to browse for a while. I like the idea of having those little cards that say "This is what our staff are reading at the moment" with little reviews next to the new books. I'm sure I'll get chance to do lots of stuff like that. Don't think I'll quite have enough room for a coffee bar though. :-)

Seems they were worried at the interview that prospective Librarians might be put off by the groups of schoolchildren that come into the place after school. I told them they couldn't be much worse than the Young Offenders! I don't think I'll miss them all that much - although I won't get to read Flex muscle magazine anymore - and hear them all saying "Oh look at him - he's hench!" I will miss the Wicked Women though - they were great fun to work with. I really enjoyed that - even though I would never have imagined I would have. Life can be surprising can't it?

Plus - how am I going to know which ex-Spice Girl has wrinkly knees if I can't read their Closer and Now magazines?

Anyway - I'll be sure to let you know how it goes! 

Call the fire brigade!!

posted by Bunnery on Mon 23rd Apr, 07 at 22:11:42

Well, things are going swimmingly in the world of prisons. The sun has been shining and the birds have been singing and the ladies residing at Her Majesty's Pleasure have been on gardening duties, so the smell of newly mown grass has been coming through the bars on the (slightly) open windows of the library. Bliss. All has been peaceful - which is quite a contrast to the Naughty Boys place where it is never peaceful!

I have been enjoying answering intelligent queries about Open University courses from the ladies - and deep philosophical ones from the boys, such as "What turns you on about a man, Miss?" The trainees in question had been studying FLEX magazine -which consists of the most gross, bulging vein-riddled, unfeasibly large muscles you are ever likely to have the misfortune to see. I told them it was "A sense of humour" which the Officer in charge seemed to think was quite a diplomatic answer!

The peace of the Spring day was broken at the women's prison the other afternoon with an alarm ringing throughout the grounds. Turned out it was a fire alarm and in due course a fire engine arrived, filled with men in uniforms with hoses. You have never seen a library empty so fast in all your life!! The women were ogling, cat-calling and hyper-ventilating all over the place. I think it was the single most exciting thing that had happened to them since they saw the Governor working out in the gym. There are rumours that the alarm was set off deliberately - just for the thrill of it :-)

Actually he claims to do that everyday. According to his interview in the new prison magazine. The women have written it and published it themselves - and it is pretty interesting reading. Even recipes - for things which are available in the prsion shop - mainly involving Pot Noodles and melted Mars bars.

One little perk of the job - I get to read all the celeb gossip magazines in my tea-break - without ever having the shame of actually going into WHSmith and buying them!! Guess which celebs have huge tummies hanging over their bikinis this week? Yeah - you are right - all of them! Libraries can be SO educational :-)

Last edited: Mon 23rd Apr, 07 at 22:13:45

Sound the alarm!!

posted by Bunnery on Mon 19th Feb, 07 at 18:25:10

How's it going with you guys?

Good - I hope!

Well, life inside continues to be interesting. Have done a full week solo with the young offenders. It proved challenging to say the least. They are certainly ingenious. For example my first day I put out the brand new rap magazine - and left the previous one there too, for them to read. After just half an hour they had BOTH disapeared!

Appealing to their better nature to return it turned out to be fruitless - so an officer had to be called to search each of them as they left. They were warned that they would be punished by ALL having to "dine in" (eat all their meals in their cells) if the culprit did not return the mags. Still nothing! So they were searched on their way out, one by one - but only one was found. It had been concealed down a sleeve. However - despite vigorous patting by the officer the other (new) one was never recovered. Where on earth could they have hidden it?

Answers on a postcard to the address below please.............

Then a couple of days later I had a group in and two of them were already arguing.They sat next to each other and continued to wind each other up as the others spurred them on by saying "You're not going to let him get away with that are you?" or even more helpfully "He's asking for a punch!"

Then this escalated to shouting, then they were standing eyeball to eyeball threatening each other. The tutor who came in with them looked at me and then at the alarm button behind the desk. So I pressed it! I was surprised that it didn't set off any audible alarm - but I needn't have worried as within seconds three officers - including the Assistant Governor came running down the corridor and into the library. They separated them - and took them back to the wing. Nice to know for sure that the system works ;-)

The rest of the session passed peacefully... at least they didn't break the chairs this time.

Ah bliss - this week I'm back in the women's prison which is full of cultured French women and ex-convent schoolgirls.

Last edited: Mon 19th Feb, 07 at 18:28:36

How many locked gates to the loo????

posted by Bunnery on Tue 30th Jan, 07 at 18:11:29

Hello - how are you all?

Getting into the new job now - in fact I seem to have passed the training phase and next Monday I will be going solo! That means I get to wear the cool leather belt, key chain and radio pouch and actually staff the library alone. Having done the key training I reckon I can unlock, get through and then lock behind me the seven gates between the library and the loo in about fourteen minutes. Hmmm - pity I only have 5 minutes between each group in the library. I think I need to speed up!! Or there could be a few accidents. Ahem...

Anyway - everything else seems fine. I haven't yet had to press the alarm button - although last Wednesday it came pretty close. The two combatants did cool it on the third and final warning from their tutor - he had to threaten them with loss of their X-Box though. Yeah - it's true - sometimes they have to get really tough :-)

Turns out that working at the Women's prisons is not that scary at all. In fact it is a delight. So many of them are determined to use their time inside fruitfully by following courses, even Open University, in order to improve their lives once they get out. They take many more books out too. In fact, I hadn't realised that there were so many varieties of erotic fiction ;-) Made me blush!!

 Well, okay, maybe blush wasn't the right word....

Almost there...

posted by Bunnery on Tue 12th Dec, 06 at 11:22:46

Guess what?

I get to start my new job this week! Well, yeah, it is only one day - Thursday - but it's a start! Then next week I get to do Wednesday. Woo!

Seems this is the initial part of my training.

Not exactly sure of the time table. Could be something like:

 9am Full Body Search, confiscation of mobile phone, chewing gum and sawn-off shotgun

9.30am Presentation of Keys, tips on jangling them menacingly

10am  Arrival through maze of gates at Library.

10.30am Drink tea/Locate Panic Buttons

11am Self Defence - for beginners

12 Noon Lunch

1pm  How to use Your Radio - without sounding like a dork

3pm Handcuff techniques

 Hmmm - sounds good for the first day. Now - I wonder which bit I am looking forward to the most ;-)

 I'll let you know how it goes.....

Addiction

posted by Bunnery on Mon 23rd Oct, 06 at 13:57:58

Have been meaning to blog again for ages - but keep getting distracted! Everytime I login - I just have to go and play Mastermind - it is just so addictive. Ah - I see several of you agree - addictive but fun .....oh and very, very competitive!!  

So what's been happening? Well - still haven't started the new job (not that I'm complaining!) but there has been some visible progress. I had the form to fill in asking where I want them to pay the wages. So - that's got to be a good sign, no?

I still have to pass the Security Checks for each of the prisons I will be working in! Who would have thought it would be this hard to get into prison? Maybe if I had just indulged in an orgy of shoplifting in Debenhams - might have been quicker :-)

Still not worried though - have been talking to someone who has worked in a Prison Library - she reports how pleased they all were when one particular inmate had shown lots of interest in books and requested loads on Royal Doulton, which they were happy to get in for him. It wasn't until he had been released that they realised that he had a side-business in making fakes and they had helped to improve his techniques!!

They certainly show some intiative these Master Criminals!! 

Seems that prison does have some advantages over work:

In prison you get time off for good behavior.
At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

In prison, a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
At work you must carry a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

In prison you get your own toilet.
At work you have to share.

In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.
At work you can't even speak to your family and friends.

In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go to bars.

In prison there are sadistic wardens.
At work, we have managers.

Hehee

Oh - gotta go - someone just challenged me to a game....... 

Prison Bunny

posted by Bunnery on Mon 2nd Oct, 06 at 14:07:13

Well at last I have got myself some gainful employment.

Seems the powers that be in the Prison Service think that I'd be okay as a Prison library person and so I get to start soon - subject to them checking my criminal record that is. I think I have done enough plundering and pillaging to qualify!! 

They just have to check my wooden leg and I'll be good to go.

The interview was fun - they tried to catch me out by asking me stuff like "If a prisoner asked you to post a letter for him - as he'd just missed the post and needed it to get to his girlfriend - what would you do?"  

Well - obviously I am there to be helpful so I'd pop it in the postbox outside. 

"What would you do if an inmate asked you to bring something in for him from home"

Of course - what does he need? A file?? Screwdriver?? Black and Decker cordless drill? No problems!!

I think those are the answers that swung it for me :-) 

Some people around me seem to be a little worried about security and safety - but having been on that visit and talked to the Prison Library lady  (21 years and never lost  a member of staff yet) has put my mind at rest. As she said - it is far safer than working in a Public Library - as there is immediate back-up if any trouble is encountered. Whereas if you get a maniac in the public library and ring 999 the police might come over in a fortnight to see what's up!!

I do remember when I worked in the Public library at Longton - there was a Bail Hostel right next door and - having not much to do all day - the newly released prisoners used to spend a lot of time in our reading Room. Some very strange characters too.

Once one was spotted walking around with a mirror on his shoe - trying to see up women's skirts!! He was soon re-arrested as I recall!!

 Anyway - I promise to let you know how it goes. Seems there is extensive training before I start. You never know - I might become a Self-Defense expert.